linseymorris:

One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.

I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it. 

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

buttart:

there’s so much going on in this gif

cawcawmuthaducka:

standby5h:

If you don’t want this beautiful picture of Steve Irwin holding a baby platypus on your blog then I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re doing with your life.

My heart cries.

cloritos:

i said a swear once and next thing you know i was doing meth

tastefullyoffensive:

tastefullyoffensive:

Dogs Sitting on Cats [video version]

Previously: Dogs Using Computers

I added a few more.

letliveintheend:

band/tattoo blog †